Clair is a whore.

So 2 nights ago, my dear husband called clair to see when to pick up Lily for her visit this weekend. I was sitting next to him and he had her on speakerphone. This is how the conversation went.
P: What time do you get off work?
C: 5:30 so anytime after that is ok. Um, is Maggie and Connor going to be you?
P: I don't know why?
C: I want it to be just you because we need to talk.
P: I'll have to talk to Maggie and I'll let you know
He hung up and I was pissed. He texted her asking her what she wanted to talk about. She never responded. I see to reason for her to want to talk to him alone. I am his fucking wife, so I have every right to be there. We make decisions together. He is not going to agree to shit without me knowing what's going on first, so it just makes more sense to have me at your bullshit talks. Long story short I think it's bullshit.
He didn't text her back until today. I told him to tell her that I had physical therapy, but I will be included in all future talks. He will not talk to her unless I am there. Honestly I don't trust peter with the legal stuff and I am a control freak. I want to be as in the loop as possible so I won't be blindsided again. I think that had my husband told me as soon as he found out that Clair is saying it's his daughter and not procrastinated for 2 fucking months because he was afraid of me, then I wouldn't be so all up in his business. He has shown to me that he can not handle it. He waited 2 months to tell me, but didn't talk to Clair until he told me.
Sometimes I want to hit my husband. I love him dearly and I know he loves me, but I don't know honestly, if our marriage will make it. Neither of us are big fans of divorce, but honestly after our fight I can't help but wonder how many more fights are going to happen because of Clair just existing really. I do know that I am going to try my best. I love my husband and I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I wonder if we are strong enough. Or really if I am strong enough. I know he is. My husband is amazing. But I don't know if I can do it. So much has happened to me that I am about at a breaking point. It has nothing to do with our relationship. We have a great relationship, I've just had shitty luck with life until I met him. Not anything to do with men even, just life experiences in general. I don't know if I am going to be able to ever be ok with this. It makes me wonder if all the stepmoms out there truly adore their stepchildren or if they are just staying and playing pretend. I am hoping that I can grow to love Lily and her part in my life, but for now I am playing pretend, really so I don't look like a bitch. But really, I want to go kick her ass. I haven't been in a fistfight since 7th grade, but I really just want to punch her in the face and make her stand there while I list every injustice she has done to me and my son. I don't fucking want a blended family. I want my fucking fairy tale. Why is that so much to ask? I have never had it, can't I have a moment. But I suppose this is why they are just fairy tales.
That's all I can write right now, I'm too emotional. I assume that my posts will be like this for a while. Hope it gets better.

*all names have been changed to protect those involved, but mostly to be able to write whatever the hell I want*