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So Peter is currently at Clairs having a private talk and picking up Lily. He is going to inform Clair that from now on, I will be present at all serious talks because I am his wife and as his wife I should be involved. Way to go husband...if he does it. We'll see. I am going crazy sitting here and waiting for him to call me and tell me what she said. I am impatient and I do not want to wait until he is home. I didn't go tonight because I want to appear as though I am not threatened by her. And I am not. She is an ugly cunt. And if she was a decent person, she probably wouldn't be Peter's baby mama right now. I feel kind of bad for her. I mean she got knocked up and he wanted to be involved, but he didn't want anything with her. Then a couple years later he knocked me up and chose to make me his wife. Sucks for her that I kick ass. I promise I am not really this cocky. I just am trying to reassure myself that I have nothing to worry about. I know I don't but I can't help feeling a little bit insecure. You can be damn sure that no one will see my weaknesses. I have always been very good at putting my insecurities deep down and keeping them there. Only since I have been a mother have I been a bit of an emotional pussy and I don't like it. Well I love being a mom, it's the emotional bit I don't like so much.
A very good friend that I haven't seen in close to a year stopped by with her children for a visit today. She has a blended family and is very experienced with "baby mama's" and what not. She helped me feel better, for that I am very grateful. I do hope to be seeing more of her.
We went shopping today to get the rest of the things we needed for Connors birthday party which is next sunday and Lily will not be attending because apparently camping is more important than her half-brothers first birthday. How much can a 2 year old really get from camping anyways? Whatever.
Clair needs to grow up. I have some extremely immature thoughts, some of which I express here, but I never act on them. Well as of yet. Suck it up and be an adult. You are a mother now so put your child as your first priority. She is an innocent little girl and you are fucking her up, Clair. I dread the teenage years with Lily. It is going to be no curfew at mom's but dad makes me be responsible and I don't like it. It is going to suck, but this child will live by the exact same rules that my children do when she is under our care. I will not have my children feeling left out and I will make sure Lily doesn't feel left out. I want the most functional blended family that is possible.
I check Clair's facebook from time to time. I print things out that may possibly help my husband should we ever go to court. I hope it doesn't come down to that, but if it does, the stupid bitch won't know what hit her. I have a fucking army of lawyers thanks to various car accidents and financial things and I also have 250,000 in the bank. I will hire the best fucking lawyer in this state if she wants to play hardball. I told my husband, I would much rather be 50 grand in the hole, then let that stupid bitch try to manipulate us.
I was informed today by my good friend that last year my state changed their child support laws and that now Clair has no legal right to back child support for the 2 years she denied peter as the father. That bit of info definitely was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I have to do some research on it, just to double check, but I am much happier.
I haven't been sleeping well and now I am starting to lose huge chunks of hair in the shower. I know they say after you have a baby, you lose hair. It's been a year; I think it's stress. well peter is calling...I'll write more later.


*all names have been changed to protect those involved, but mostly to be able to write whatever the hell I want*